Everything slowly and gently.
Rustle awake from a nights sleep. Slow, deep sex. Eat mindfully. Make love to the earth when you walk. Breathe, deeply.
Everything with grace.
This morning, I woke up feeling like shit. I felt heavy and at the same time, I felt this sense of urgency. I started to run through all of the things that I needed to get done, in my head. I sprung out of bed and started planning. I pulled out my computer and started to look for jobs.
And then I remembered.
That’s right, I’m doing that thing again where I feel like I need to do things in a hurry in order to get anywhere.
And then I remembered.
When I do this shit, it’s often because I haven’t been looking after myself and my own energy levels. Because I have been too in my head, rushing, leaving my nervous system wired for action. For stress.
And then I remembered.
That time is actually infinite and that when I rush things, I get nowhere. Because I burn myself out and get overwhelmed. And the quality of what I do is shit. And I don’t enjoy the process either, so what’s the point?
I always know that when I start to get this way and start to operate from this place of fear- from the idea that there is “not enough time” and that I have to rush in order to get things done, that it’s because my nervous system is on overdrive and that biologically, I am actually
Because of sugar, coffee, stress… Anything that puts my body in “doing” mode.
And that’s when I hit the yoga mat. Or lie back in baddha konasana and breath deeply until I feel my chest start to relax and my heart open and tears flow as my body melts and relaxes back into the present moment.
I read a quote this morning that said, “grieve so that you can be free to feel something else” and it’s so damn true. I know that whenever I start to get uptight it’s often because my heart has started to close down from ignoring my own needs and that I need to have a good cry and just fucking relax again. In fact, there’s a science behind tears. When you cry, you release a natural painkiller, called leucine encephalin and perhaps this is why crying feels so damn good? You can even tell when someone has just cried- they have a certain glow about them. And I can always pick the ones that NEED to cry. They are the ones with a flat looking face and no energy because they have so much pent up emotion within them that their whole body has become sluggish and slow. Or the opposite- it’s the ones that are running around and can’t even slow down and stop to take a proper breath because it’s uncomfortable and their body get’s restless.
Having witnessed patterns in my own body and mind and having worked in healthcare with thousands of patients for around 6 years now (on top of years of study), I have fine tuned my capacity to understand emotions and how they affect us, physically. Physical health issues can only ever arise if we are stressed. And stress arises when we aren’t present… when we are too busy rushing or doing things, without slowing down and really appreciating and FEELING the gift of life and the present moment. EMOTIONS are energy in motion. They are what arises within the body as a way of flushing out excess OR repressed energy from the body that has been created secondary to stress because we have been haven’t been allowing ourselves to slow down and feel and be present. Why? Because we live in a society that carries shame and embarrassment around the idea of displaying emotion. Because emotion makes you weak, yes? Wrong. Everyone has an innate need to express themselves emotively. In fact, it makes you stronger. Because when you allow your body to flush itself of stress, letting repressed energy move through and out of you (which is what happens when we cry, or release anger- in a healthy way), then we actually return to a state of inner balance. And when the body, mind and spirit is balanced, it is stronger.
Emotion also flushes out the egoic mind. It helps you to soften. To love. To experience compassion.
And what the world needs more of, is this.
It’s all well and good to want to change the world, but in reality, you can’t unless you are actually embodying the change. I often find that when I get all uptight and negative about life and the way that society works, it is because I have grown to be hard on the inside. And that I need a good hard cry (or sometimes a fuck) to soften and open my heart again. And that when I do, I relax and open again into the flow of life. I stop judging which makes room for appreciation. And gratitude. And love. And that’s the shit that’s truly going to change the world.